Louise, at Beautifully Balanced, believes that developing an Internal Support System is the solution to helping release chronic emotional tension and for establishing long term calm and vibrancy.
Creating an Internal Support System involves activating your inner nurturing voice and quietening your harsh inner critic. Your inner nurturing voice really hears and tends to the feelings and needs of your hurts and distresses – the part of you which has been in internal conflict and terror for so long because it has not had a voice to express itself. Your inner self which has had its feelings and experiences either ignored or negated.
The most likely way your more hurt and anxious self has been negated is by repression from an overly aggressive and critical voice. For example, ‘Don’t feel that!’ ‘Don’t think that!’ ‘Don’t do that!’ ‘ What a stupid thing to say!’ ‘This all your fault!’
Another way chronic tension and anxiety are created is by not being able to give yourself support and empathy, whether that be for sadness, anger, fear, joy or any other feeling. Without this support, part of you is left with overwhelming feelings and thoughts trapped inside. Over time these can grow out of control into utter misery, rage, terror and joylessness or can get projected into the external world as phobias for example.
Whether repressive or absent, these approaches contribute to you developing less healthy ways of living e.g. becoming overly compliant, aggressively rebellious, persistently depressive, chronically anxious, lacking in self-esteem. Which in turn leads to developing unhealthy strategies to ease the inner pain and hurt, such as over-eating, resulting in both physical and emotional health issues.
The nurturing voice within, however, is not frightened by any feelings, thoughts or behaviours. If, for at least 2/3rds of the time, you can connect with your deep hurts and anxieties, and offer empathy, support and encouragement, then greater well-being can be achieved. Understanding that there will be times when we and others ‘lose it’ or ‘break down’, and no wonder if things have become out of balance.
The nurturing voice is compassionate & assertive and worth spending time developing.